I am at heart a passionate person. Not in some sort of romantic chick flick kind of a way, just in that I latch on to anything completely. I love the idea of committing to something completely. In my previous blog, I talked about how my passions have run my life. Passion I think can be a very good thing and a very bad thing. I've been told by many that it is one of my greatest characteristics, but I'm not so sure. A lot of times I am unable to focus on anything other than what I am passionate about at the time being. Right now, I'm so passionate about guitar and worship music that I struggle maintaining other areas of my life because all I want to do is play guitar or think about arrangements, but how long is that going to last. Infatuation might be a better word here because they don't last. I'm just able to disguise it to others as passion.
A couple months ago I kind of realized that recently I've let these infatuations control my life and almost serve as an excuse or distraction from dealing with life (I guess that would be the most appropriate word). I get so much crap about not wanting to date it's absurd. When I get that pressure I always have the same rhetoric... "I don't want to date because it will distract me from _______." Lately, the fill-in-the-blank word has been guitar. I want to focus on guitar so much that dating would just be a distraction from learning my latest craft. Maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but I do have to question it myself when the blank has been filled with different things for the past 5 years. (By my best estimate, it has been 5 years since my last date, yikes!) After my last relationship ended I said I needed to focus on my education, after that it was my move to California, after that it was skiing, after that it was finding a new job, after that I'm at the guitar phase. Those all seem like they could be legitimate reasons, but I wonder if they aren't just excuses... .
Read the Rest at PresentlyRestless...
No comments:
Post a Comment